It's not new. That's somehow encouraging to me.
As I wrote earlier, Elizabeth Gaskell was a well-known writer in her day. Dickens was her editor. Charlotte Bronte was her BFF. Apparently she also hung out with Florence Nightingale. She just kind of knew people.
But she was also a mother and wife. I've read several comments about changes to the BBC miniseries of her books discussing the changes. The screenwriters always seem to argue, "This is what Gaskell would have wanted if she had had the time." Dickens was a journalist and was constantly pressing for her to meet deadlines. She had to take care of children and make sure she paid the butcher.
In the back of the Penguin edition of Cranford I checked out from the library, there are several of her letters. In one of them she is writing to a close friend about these struggles:
"Women, must give up living an artist's life, if home duties are to be paramount. It is different with men, whose home duties are so small a part of their life. However we are talking of women. I am sure it is healthy for them to have the refuge of the hidden world of Art to shelter themselves in when too much pressed upon by daily small Lilliputian arrows of peddling cares; it keeps them from being morbid as you say; and takes them into the land where King Arthur lies hidden, and soothes them with its peace. I have felt tho sin writing, I see other feel it in music, you in painting, so assuredly a blending of the two is desirable. (home duties and the development of the Individual I mean), which you will say it takes no Solomon to tell you but the difficulty is where and when to make one set of duties subserve and give place to the other. I have no doubt that the cultivation of each tends to keep the other in a healthy state..." (216)
As a teacher, for a couple months a year, I get to experience being a stay-at-home mom. The rest of the year I get up at 6:30 and kiss my babies good bye. And I feel I can say that both experiences have blessings and curses. I enjoy my job. I enjoy feeling like I can use my mind and my talents. And when my babies are sick or my 3-year-old sits on my lap in the morning and begs me to stay home, there is no word to describe how despicable I feel. And in the summer I enjoy being with my children all day. I enjoy getting to make meals instead of having to grab fast food on a particularly busy week. I enjoy planning activities for the family. And sometimes I just wish I could have a moment to be the thinking, creative person that I am. And being a Mom, I find a way to feel guilt about both.
Apparently Mom Guilt has been around since at least 1850, but I'm pretty sure it's been around since Eve. Not exactly helpful, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.
As I wrote earlier, Elizabeth Gaskell was a well-known writer in her day. Dickens was her editor. Charlotte Bronte was her BFF. Apparently she also hung out with Florence Nightingale. She just kind of knew people.
But she was also a mother and wife. I've read several comments about changes to the BBC miniseries of her books discussing the changes. The screenwriters always seem to argue, "This is what Gaskell would have wanted if she had had the time." Dickens was a journalist and was constantly pressing for her to meet deadlines. She had to take care of children and make sure she paid the butcher.
In the back of the Penguin edition of Cranford I checked out from the library, there are several of her letters. In one of them she is writing to a close friend about these struggles:
"Women, must give up living an artist's life, if home duties are to be paramount. It is different with men, whose home duties are so small a part of their life. However we are talking of women. I am sure it is healthy for them to have the refuge of the hidden world of Art to shelter themselves in when too much pressed upon by daily small Lilliputian arrows of peddling cares; it keeps them from being morbid as you say; and takes them into the land where King Arthur lies hidden, and soothes them with its peace. I have felt tho sin writing, I see other feel it in music, you in painting, so assuredly a blending of the two is desirable. (home duties and the development of the Individual I mean), which you will say it takes no Solomon to tell you but the difficulty is where and when to make one set of duties subserve and give place to the other. I have no doubt that the cultivation of each tends to keep the other in a healthy state..." (216)
As a teacher, for a couple months a year, I get to experience being a stay-at-home mom. The rest of the year I get up at 6:30 and kiss my babies good bye. And I feel I can say that both experiences have blessings and curses. I enjoy my job. I enjoy feeling like I can use my mind and my talents. And when my babies are sick or my 3-year-old sits on my lap in the morning and begs me to stay home, there is no word to describe how despicable I feel. And in the summer I enjoy being with my children all day. I enjoy getting to make meals instead of having to grab fast food on a particularly busy week. I enjoy planning activities for the family. And sometimes I just wish I could have a moment to be the thinking, creative person that I am. And being a Mom, I find a way to feel guilt about both.
Apparently Mom Guilt has been around since at least 1850, but I'm pretty sure it's been around since Eve. Not exactly helpful, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.
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